everybody`s got something,they had to leave behind,
one regret from yesterday,that just seems to grow with time,
there is no use looking back or wondering,
how it could be now or might have been..
.i have always loved this song ,never had a dream come true by S CLUB 7,i came across it sometime back,when i was at a hard point in life,of course i now look back and laugh,my last chemistry paper was a little harder than that moment actually. i know that by the time i come to a point of giving up on something,then it really has tested my patience.There are a thousand remorseful ladies walking around,cheated on,lied to,neglected,dumped,raped and even rejected.
So at that hard point in my life,when everything seemed as tasteless as everything else,i learned several lessons that i will use till that day when i am six feet underground and if there are men down there who will hit on me,i will still use my lessons.Friends and family,even enemies and admirers tell me how pain should not change me,but let me tell you something,it is only a fool who would want to make the same mistake twice and feel the same pain all over again.I have heard the preaching about how it doesn`t always end up being painful but i also don`t have a guarantee that it will be better,so i stick to my comfort zone.
You see,i might just be one of those remorseful bitches but it feels good when you finally realize that the memories faded,you no longer hear that voice in your head,you no longer recall any joke he ever cracked,you don`t even know how the touch of his hand felt,neither do you remember his scent,you just feel like a conqueror and you keep asking yourself why the hell it took you so long to get back to life,you kinda regret any tear you shed and any second you spent with him,okay,that is what i avoid at all cost,regret but i am good at pretending that it was actually worth it though everyone knows how untrue that is.
I have never really been liked by people, it is not like i give a damn but the last time someone pretended to really like me, i fell for it and almost died in the trap.Okay,i feel like i am not saying anything,let me try and speak out,A few years ago,i met a friend who would be the biggest mistake of my life a few years later,so when i shut people out before they even step in,trust me,i know what i am doing.Men have a way of making you believe every word they say,unless you are wise enough to listen and laugh later.More so,mr perfect knows what to say,when to say it and how to say it,he even has a song to dedicate to you in every situation and you kinda feel like this Angel is an exception,and then i will take you back to the phrase,mwnaume ni mwanaume,for them,it is out of sight,out of mind,and did someone say i need to pamper their ego to make them stay? people should get serious in life,why should you do that,i know,because he will leave.So what?,you see he can still leave whenever he wants to,whether you pamper his ego or not,whether you quit your job to keep him or not and one thing i realized,whatever a man`s reason is,is always an excuse for his mistakes,it`s not really the woman in his life,he just wants to make something up so that he blames it on that,so poor women succumb to that and end up feeling worthless,they have a special way of making you feel inadequate by the way,but be woman enough not to listen to him,he aint no better than you.
Even the more barbaric of them are those that abandon ladies after impregnating them,niggas,how does that feel? Don`t you ever imagine that cute smile,that innocent laughter,the way they just look in your eyes and you feel like all the beautiful things of the world lies in them,in fact,it appears heavenly,the way they pull your nose and ears,and you just know that they belong with you,
The thought of a baby`s voice puts a smile on my face,but some that have never understood the meaning of life ask for abortion yet they have the guts to condemn al-shabaab,na mko tu serious.
I am proud of those women who made a choice of raising their kids in absence of the sperm donor.The disgusting part comes in when he shows up 18 years later to claim a child he attempted to kill,you know,some men make me laugh,so are you guys really in your right minds when you show up to actually claim that he/she is your child? and do you seriously want to be part of their life when they are fully grown? at what point do you want that kid to accept you in his/her life? I never understand.They claim that women have changed over time,sijui they don`t do this and that,it is because we never get appreciated for anything we do,we never feel loved at the end of the day.I bear all the burden society has bestowed on me,i follow all the rules the holy books [written by men] cast on my shoulders and when i look back,my trails are covered with ungratefulness,insults,torture and dissatisfaction.We can`t stay forever in bondage and ignorance.The pain a woman feels most is always caused by a man she loved,they crave love but they don`t love,they want to be respected,they want to come home at 3 am without being questioned,they want to drink all weekend and want to be left alone,they want to sleep out whenever they want and expect me to smile when he gets home two days later,they want to neglect their kids and expect them to call him daddy,they want to eat food they have not provided,yes,they technically want everything they have never worked for.If this was 80 years ago,you would manage but not now and not in future,so dear men of the 21st century and the centuries to come,this is your fate and destiny,whichever you want to go with,i hope you learn to enjoy.
A woman should be classy and fabulous and men should deal with it,afadhali ukuwe gold digger,hata ukiachwa uachwe na pesa kuliko kujifanya unapenda na atakuacha tu na mapenzi yako,unless you can use it to pay your bills and shop as well.