Because He is Cheap


(photo source: internet)

Somebody somewhere, a kenyan,mark you,will be spending 5.4 million kenyan shillings on his beloved wife or her beloved husband at Villa Rosa Kempinski this Valentine, yaah,stop popping your eyes out like a whatsap emoji. Admit the fact that you are a broke ass and move the hell on.
What irritates me is the men,wrong term,let me say,the boys who’ve been planning on how they’re going to break up just before the lover’s day or fall sick or kill their mother and attend a living woman’s burial because they don’t want the days expense. let me tell you what the moral pervet whose only excitement is landing between your thighs calls an expense, it’s a little walk to TRM or Garden city Mall for pizza and a box of chocolates whose calculation adds up to nothing more than a thousand shillings. Why would he want to fulfill his sexual fantasies with you when he cannot afford a simple decent outing.
  I am not saying that we sell ourselves out to them,I am saying you deserve a little treat on a special day for being that woman he could not find anywhere else. Dumping you on such an occasion is enough evidence that the nigga is still growing up and has nothing between his ears that can handle matters in a mature way.
  The million and one messages circulating on whatsap,saying that they will be in church because it’s a sunday,some planning to fall ill as from tomorrow,please go to church, it could be your only chance to reconcile with your creator, at least you’ll go to church every once a year. listen,you’ll be admitted and you’ll die in that hospital because your prayer will eventually be answered, you kill your mother and see how it feels when the real thing happens


The most amazing thing is,most of these guys have totally nothing to offer,they are campus boys who’ve been rejected by every other lady because the sight of them reminds you of the little boys in your neighborhood. They are the ones who hit on every girl in the clique just to try out their luck in case one of them falls victim,they are the big boys who’ve grown up unpruned and believe they can rule the whole female species because he got himself a Passo on loan which he’ll probably pay for,for the rest of his miserable existence. There is a difference between living and existing.
  Treat your woman if you can and if you have one,if you can’t, shut your stinking mouth and focus on getting yourself into a position where you can treat your woman incase your lucky stars bring you one,if they ever will. No one forced you into a relationship,it’s your sexual desire, you can as well decide to control your third leg and focus on your life,otherwise, be ready to be a man because a man is what a woman needs, not big bodied babies who can hardly wipe their own shit.
Now lady,if you get dumped or his phone suddenly develops technical problems,go out with that guy whose been asking you out,get treated on behalf of an idiot who you apparently call a boyfriend and have a moment of your life,then go home and go missing because your little man is  simply incapable.
Forget about the guy who will take you out on 14th too,your business with him is done.


Here’s my gift to you. Happy Valentine.



8 thoughts on “Because He is Cheap

  1. Shapoopi

    all the glowing remarks are from the ladies…surprise surprise…
    show her love all year round…not just one one day in 365 .IF YOU WANT TO. #fvckvalentines


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s