hello readers, this article was sent to me by the Informant who will be my guest blogger for some time.All credits go to THE INFORMANT
Let’s just say I have the type of company mummy always asks you to be wary of. And it’s such a mess coz I got entangled too deep, I cant get myself out of it. I just can’t.
So on Wednesday, which happens to be the busiest day of my calender, one of my ninjas(let’s just call him Nick) calls me and he’s like ” where tf are you?” In my calmest voice I respond, “in school. Is my house on fire?” He tells me it ain’t, so I get pissed off at his heavy grammar.
Apparently it had been decided that Wednesday would be my induction to the league of men, (And the league of men does not involve a bunch of sportpesa gamblers, no it doesn’t) and I didn’t know. My clique has 3 guys, 4 when I’m in the picture. So Nick goes like “Unajua leo ni Wednesday wewe f-boy!!” I’m like “najua, what do you think!!” Then it clicks in my head what was meant by that statement.
Free lapdance, and a whole lot of nearly free stuff, in town. At Liddos to be precise. This gets my heart racing, considering the thought of naked women dancing on a pole gives me creeps. And apparently this is what these guys had in mind, and this time whether I liked it or not, I was going to join the bandwagon. It was a take it or takebit situation.
“Wee ukitoka hizo daro zako za ufala utupate tao” and the phone hangs up. I stand transfixed, weighing the options of going and not going, the do’s and donts of the clique, then my katwin beeps again. This time it’s Ralph. “Na ukitubeba wana utaona. Tunakungoja tao. Ukichelewa sapa on you.” Thats scary. Not the super part, the thought of them ordering meals and having the bill on you. Under normal circumstances it wouldnt be a big deal, but today we are supposed to go to a strip club, and if I’m late my punishment is paying their meals, which I’m certain will be extortionistic and babaric.
I take off for town without an extra thought. (Of course I’ve left my bag and books with a classmate, tomorrow is Thursday and we still have classes). I get to town in due time alright, and I no longer have to worry about paying for anyone’s meal. Now we can fairly contribute cash for our evening meal, bearing in mind that the induction boy will need a private session with Wakesho, which is approx 3000 bob, and some Jameson bottles must deco the table. Otherwise it’s not a party.(wakesho is a nic they gave to a certain stripper they developed a very huge liking for. And I think she likes them, if what they tell me is anything to go by)
It’s around 9, and the town is not so crowded. We are on our way to the God-forsaken den, and these guys are excited, while I’m scared, real scared. So I pose a question, “hao madranya wako huko ni around what age?” a curt response stops me from asking any more questions “utaona tukifika” that’s Nick.
Apparently, the bouncers know these guys. “Nick kwani leo mnaleta nani?” His name is Robot. He is huge and has bulging triceps, his traps look like Batista if you ever watched wrestling.
“Huyu ni bro, ako na Bash yake leo. Hii ni induction” Nick, again. Robot asks for my ID, bit even before I get it, Ralph slides a 200 shilling note to his hand and just like that we are at Soddom and Gomorrah.