Welcome today’s guest blogger
By Emmah Mburu
Just like chivalry, dating is dead. Or, so they say. Dating has been conveniently replaced with the famous hook up culture. One night stands, Friends with Benefits and all those ABCs along that realm, are the new normal. Who dates when horizontal refreshments are next cheapest commodities after sweets? Dating is chaos. It has turned into politics. It has become a spectrum bedeviled by far too many complexities. Men are crying foul about the severe deficiency of good women while surprisingly enough women are making noise about the same issue. Who is fooling who? Are there any good men and women in the face of the earth or is it just a matter of settling?
I am sitting here reading this Facebook post about men who would go out of their way in this day and age just to make their lady feel special. It doesn’t seem possible to have such men at first but after puzzling a while about this praised ‘prince charming’, I think about the women who deserve such treatment. This is for you gentlemen out there who think there is no women worthy of your love anymore. Those who desire to take her to the altar and not break her heart after that one night stand. Those who still watch ‘The Notebook’ just for reassurance that love does exist. Here is your woman.
These women are extremely attractive, constantly being hit on but still disregard other texts to only chat with you. Women who can’t wait to be done with work to rush home to you and share her day’s experiences. Women, who aren’t afraid to show their ugliest scars, share their deepest secrets without fear of being judged. Women who will call you in the middle of a working day just to check up on you. Women who will flaunt you endlessly to her girlfriends and co-workers.
Women who appreciate your hustle and will go out of their way to split be bill if need be. A woman who will keep her cool when other women are dotting all over you in the club. She will eventually walk up to the she-hyenas and reclaim her throne. You can’t argue with the queen now, can you?
This woman wants to love you, support your dreams and have your children because she can’t wait to start a family with you. This woman is highly successful but will never intimidate you or downplay your contributions at home. She will go out of her way to look spectacular when accompanying you to office cocktail parties. Her agenda though, to make you the envy among your colleagues. She is knowledgeable about world politics, the awful Donald trump catastrophy, ISIS and of course the latest billboard chart collection. She will not be afraid to voice her opinion on the current corruption menace in Kenya. She will challenge your boys to focus on building themselves instead of waiting on futile Sportpesa bets.
She will respect your mother and all other female aspects in your life. She will not pressure you into meet your parents or vice versa because she knows she has earned the right to family introductions and you will do so in your own time. She will not get knocked up just to trap you into marriage. She knows everything has its own time. She aint a fan of accidents. And when she does want that child, oh boy you will be work extra hard to give her that child. She will bring up the children with love. Which child wouldn’t want such a mum anyway?
This woman will even watch football games with you. Not that she doesn’t trust you going out with your boys but because she feels the need to indulge herself with things that please you. She will give you a long hug after a tiring day at work. She will accompany you to church on Sundays and dedicate special prayers to your relationship.
This woman will drink moderately enough to keep the night going and just enough to accept a goodnight peck. A woman who will sleep with you not because she is intoxicated but she genuinely trusts you won’t leave in the middle of the night and never call again. A woman who will hold her liquor and even comments when you take one too many. She will be your designated driver too.
She will listen when you explain your dreams and future aspirations. She will not dump you simply because your career choice doesn’t look promising. She will stick there because she believes in your talent or ability. She will respect your personal limits and space. She will learn your favorite designer apparels and toys and will surprise you once in a while with that watch you been eyeing but couldn’t afford. She will spend months planning your birthday party and not to disappoint.
She will still be turned on by you even after the children are grown up. You will want to grow old with her. You can’t imagine how life would be without her. You will cringe at the thought of losing her to someone else. That is the woman you have not been dating.
You have been busy chasing tramps. The kinds with an extremely low threshold for walking semi-nude and married religiously to Instagram and Facebook Likes. I know you have been really boosting her self-esteem with your multiple likes. The types that talk up too much game but have little substance.
Don’t say women of substance don’t exist yet you’ve been looking for them in all the wrong places. And before you start looking for substance, make sure you exemplify substance.
Substance begets substance.
This is not fairytale stuff.