I am insecure, I am afraid because I am a woman,I am scared because the rib that made me has turned into a disaster.
I hate it that the society has made it my responsibility to take care of a man’s emotion, to dress a certain way so that he does not rape me,to act ‘accordingly’ so that he will love me,to speak politely so that he does not feel disrespected,to massage and pamper his ego so that he does not leave.
I am afraid for every little girl,every hustling lady and every trying woman, in the world that has turned into a jungle.
I am scared that I will walk into an office and the man on the other side of the table will try to hold my hand and pull me over,he will look deeply into my eyes and say “you know what to do to get the positive side of the deal”
I am afraid of being in the same room with my uncle because he will ask me if I am a virgin and he wil try to confirm my answer.
It scares me that my little sister is in a school with male teachers because she is a little beautiful girl and they’ll want to feel her long, soft hair.
I wasn’t hoping that the rib that made me will turn into a recipe for disaster but it did, because childhood friends have turned against the girls they grew up with,fathers have made their daughters do a wifely bedroom duty in the bathroom, brothers have crept into their sister’s rooms in the silence of the night,not to narrate stories.
I am scared of walking past a group of manufacturers of my flesh because they have no shame and they will catcall and they will drool and they will laugh and talk.
They have even allowed the label ‘mafisi’ and act it,I fear for my life, because these hyenas walk on two legs and all wear trousers and look decent and I will not be able to differentiate a Man from a fisi.
I hate it that they all have to attempt to have me,not because they love me but because they know I am a woman and I have what they want.
I am afraid I can’t trust any of them because after 30 years of living together, he will stab me over 500 shillings.
Most have no God in them,the rest don’t even know who they are and they do drugs and screw girls and live like they have no purpose.
Guide us God,to the ones that know you,to the ones that have a heart,to the ones that are sympathetic and to the ones that care.
Make us of the caring and loving,understanding and trustworthy, because in the meaninglessness of life,I still want to find what my life symbolizes.