Day after Day

By:Munira Hussein
The seven letters that made up his first name and the eleven letters that made his two names,
were the building blocks of my entire world
I loved how they looked, like they were made for me in him
they sounded like the perfect pattern that completed the gap in my layout
and then he broke away,
slowly by slowly
until another came my way,
now his name wants to sound like the pieces that will complete my pattern
but I have done this before
My pattern feels perfectly fit
I don’t want to disrupt it
he wants to be the voice that always soothes me to sleep
I wanna stay awake though,
that’s what will happen when the silence befalls once again
he wants to be the one to open the door for me
I am not interested, I want to carry my luggage home
I want to hold my umbrella when it rains and carry my jacket when it gets too hot
because I will forget how to do those things
and he will go away
then I’ll run around wishing upon the dead to rise
and the sick to heal
for the Lord to come
for the world to end
because mine will have a full stop at the end by then.
I don’t want to go back there
to the darkness of a fading light
to the echo of a fading laughter
to the emptiness of a house haunted with shadows of smiles and love
Let my house be clear of memories
let my heart be wary and tired
let my soul be solo
let it be known that I tried
Let the side of my bed not know any other rib that is not mine
let it not be told of a man whose chest was once my head’s nest
let my roof not harbour any shadows of two lovebirds underneath
How it starts is not how it ends.
let this not start,
let’s put off the flame in our hearts
let’s kill this thing before its birth
for I have nothing,
but worry,
dug up from the past.

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E-mail: hmunira4@gmail.com
Twitter: @munirahussein
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A Million Questions

Is there a home for a heart that has lost its hope?
Is there a hope for a heart that has lost its course?
What comfort is there in thoughts that don’t transform?
What love is there in a heart full of pain?
Who cares about those that never healed
who will lead them back,those that lost their way
who will hold the shoulders of those without arms?
why is there so much chaos in the world
who will answer the myriads of questions I want to ask
why are people so forgetful
why do we kill sons and daughters of Africa
Why are the rich so rich and the poor so poor
why am I asking all these questions
why are you people not answering
Why is life the way it is
Why do people break hearts
The weight of the world breaks our backs,
Attraction to this phone breaks our necks,
A moron with a heart breaks another’s heart
Why do we kill a baby’s father
Why do we stab a child’s mother
why are people so mean
how will we ever succeed
someone make me understand what truth there is
what lie has been justified
what truth has been rejected
who did all these
Why is God so silent
Why do enemies pretend to be friends
why do haters fake love
Why do I feel so lost.

It’s a plea

By:Munira Hussein
I am the truth,
I am the road that leads me away,
then sways me back the right way.
   I am the thoughts that you avoid,
but feel the full void.
  I am the words that you don’t want to speak,
but repeat like a mantra,at the back of your head.
  I am the elegance you don’t want to see,
but don’t know how not to feel.
  I am the silence that sorrounds your outer rage,
but rumbles like a sea within your mixed emotions.
I know it by the way you look at me,
I know you wish I said a word,
two would be too much to ask for.
I know your vision of the movement of my lips
I see how you try to formulate words of the air I exhale.
I am not speaking though,
I am drumming my heart,
with palpitations,
drowning it in tears that fail to pour out of my eyes,
I know how it’s splashing.
So listen to my heart,
I know I’m the voice you never want to hear
the joy you would rather not feel.
stop looking at me like that
like you’re the wave that is distracting my sea,
like you’re reading the blankness of my thoughts
like you know who I am.

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Facebook: Munira Hussein
Twitter: @munirahussein
E-mail: hmunira4@gmail.com

The Woman I Want To Be

By:Identity Withheld.

  

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I’m afraid  of falling into tradition, of being  what society  has already  created  of a woman, of being  the object that feeds and cleans a man. It’s  not in my list  of wishes to care for him, not in a friendly  way but in the way that makes him my responsibility, I don’t  want  to cook and serve  him, I don’t  want to clean  and dress him, I even think it’s unfair that I have to carry his baby. I know you’ll argue that it’s  my baby too but all indications prove that he has a little more right than I do.
 

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I even don’t understand why it has to be me,to bear the pain,carry that child,crave,go through morning sickness, then bring him up.
I am tired of conflicting with my soul,convincing it that it’s okay,that there is nothing wrong,but hell yah! there is everything wrong.I want to do everything I want,I want to tame my heart,train it to love me more than anyone else,I hate the thought of having to go through the global epidemic of women worrying about where their men could be,talking about how he has changed,lately,coming home late,if he at all does come home.
The more I think about it,the more I discover, that that path that 99% of the female population travelled is not for me.I know I want to do something more for myself and a little more for humanity.
  It’s not about fun and freedom, it’s about inner peace and satisfaction, that after a long Monday at work,I don’t have to come home and worry sick about things concerning a grown man,and don’t lie to me that you can ignore!! no you can’t, he is supposed to be your man and when you think that he is roaming the streets like a stray dog,then you have to worry.
Don’t even try making it sound like I don’t work hard enough to make him come back home,so what if I also decide he isn’t good enough for me to go back home to early? I should have a choice of hanging out in avoidance of his company till late night.
  What happened to African women? nothing, they just opened their minds and saw life for what it really is,a short experience that shouldn’t be wasted following a misguided recipe that leads to formation of a concoction of chaotic moments.
I don’t want to follow any procedures, I want to step out of the lane,try over speeding, slowing down and changing lanes,I don’t want a bunch of few people to terrorise my life and just own it,I don’t want to know where everyone’s everything is when no one knows where my anything is,I don’t want to be a slave of violence with pans and plates,onions and garlics.
  I want freedom, from ties that bind me to specific positions,from specific thoughts that will continuously bombard my pretty mind with care and concern for people that will forever be part of me.

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The Silent Whispers

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I know I’m the least noticeable,
with that low whisper for a voice,
I can hardly hear myself.
With those tiny chinese-eyes,
maybe you think I can’t see beyond now,
   

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I have learned to be the shadow in presence of light,
then again,I have always lit up the world in the background,
I can’t crack a rib,
every word I utter,either too serious or nonsensical,
so I learned the importance of silence,
many words lost in moments of unspoken speech
I have tried friendship, very few worked,
some even sank me deeper to the depths of invisibility,

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I leaned on the efforts of my mind,
because my heart rarely survived.
I wasn’t emotionally unstable,
In the flowing waters,I was stable
I forgot a few things about me,
I always remembered that my name was light,
my life an irony
my happiness,a thought that never transformed into a smile,
I wished upon the candles,
none were ever lit in my honour,
so the glory of the moment slipped by,
not like sand between fingers,
like water down a thirsty throat.
I lived and then died alive,
I was buried in my living death,
from beneath 6feet,
just above the dug up earth,
I stretch my arms,
to touch beauty,
to feel it maybe,
I came in contact with rocks,
stones that drew me back
So down in my little space,
I found love and resorted to staying.
I found a voice that only sings sweet melodies,
I found a world,
I found life,
In a moment of sadness, I took a gulp of joy and never digested it.

Twitter @munirahussein

Happy birthday Moon

My parents either don’t remember or assume my birthday.It’s okay,I don’t give a damn,but today is special, very special. My dad gives me a call at exactly 7am,I didn’t pick,I bet I was still sleepy(a birthday treat),he calls an hour later and is quiet angry that I didn’t pick his call,he then says ” do you know that I called you at the exact same time you were delivered” I felt a sting,sort of excitement, then…..I don’t know,he actually remembered. I really didn’t realize how much I wanted them to recognize this day until today.
Meanwhile, I wanna thank all my friends who have always remembered to wish me well every year that I stepped closer to grey hair and a wrinkled face,I want to thank you all who wrote me tiny notes of good luck and happy lifetime wishes,I still re-read them.
Your phone calls and unending texts are the things that made this day a success for me.Your wishes to have known earlier in preparation for a gift are the wrapped gifts that fill my heart with joy.It’s okay that it wasn’t possible,because sometimes, all we need are kind words.
  Thank you Gift, for this beautiful piece of art,I will live to treasure it.

MUNIRA
First there was pain in her head,
Something calling,pushing,
Just bellow her womb,
Shivers assaulted her,
Shivers of fear,
The pain,it couldn’t wait,
Not even an hour,
It rose up,deep,down
“she is almost”one said softly.
“mmmmh,God!”She scream bitter,pure terror.
“push,one more”another insisted.
“ng’aaa!ng’aaa” a little somebody was born.
But beautiful. With eyes that promised victory.
Her mother staring at nothing but her.
“she is cute”her mum whispered weakly.
And sure she is till to date.
Happy birthday once again Munira.

Today is also special because of reasons known to Michael and I,you guys already know who Michael is,right? Thanks Mikel,for letting me be me and not what everyone thinks I am.

In this journey, I have learned that you don’t need siblings so as to have a family,you need true friends who will look at you and see how marvellous God is,people who will lift you up when you fall,people who will look into your eyes and say “stop being stupid,that’s not the way to go about things” and you know they know your abilities and worth and will never let you step out your lane if not for the better.
Thank you all,once again.

After Today

Hold my hand,
I know it’s a little rough,
hold it anyway.
Then bring me close,
I know I smell of a long day,
bring me close anyway.
Let me lie,head on your torso
place your hand on my waist
don’t rub it,
let your palms lie in the dent of my back,
I know my hair is damp,
it smells a little like a rain forest,
but don’t pull away,
you can stand it,I know you can,
Ask me now,gently,
how my day was,
don’t wait for response,
allow me to sigh,heavily
I’ll be crying by now,
don’t you worry, I am fine,
No,no,don’t wipe it,
I like how it flows and falls,
right on your right breast.
I am calming now,
but hold me a little longer,
two or three,four will be just fine,
then elevate my head,
kiss me like my dry lips don’t disgust you,
like my unmade face doesn’t scare you,
look at me,like my eyes are not sorrowful,
like all you see in them,is a smile that lasts a lifetime,
It’s time now,to whisper what can be said aloud,
because it’s more beautiful that way,
I promise I will smile,
“I love you too”